Rewire Your Brain: Part 1

"Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own.” ― Brené Brown

Release self-sabotaging beliefs and gain self-mastery!

Intercept Self-defeating Thoughts

You may have noticed we can be our own worst enemy and research shows that most of us are barraged 24-7 by self-sabotaging thoughts. Interestingly, the cognitive pathways that give rise to negative and self-critical thoughts are found in different regions of the brain than the wisdom and insight networks. Wisdom and insight are often weaker or less-immediate processes due to less activation and use. Thankfully, neural plasticity shows us that we can build positive mental habits to harness a deep inner knowing and grow more robust and dynamic faculties. We just need to root out the self-defeating habits and onboard acceptance and approval - just one thought at a time : ). 

My last post explored the most common ways we self-sabotage and why. I received a lot of great feedback - namely that the revelations resonated and that uncovering hidden thought and behavior patterns was helpful. Since then, I completed a professional development coaching course created by the team behind Positive Intelligence. Positive Intelligence is defined as “the control you have over your own mind and how well your mind acts in your best interest.” The course helped me to better identify self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors (the Saboteurs) and more easily activate Inner Wisdom (the Sage). Of course, I had to share what I learned!

Because a ton of valuable information was packed into the short 7 week program, I thought to introduce the main ideas over a series of 4 posts. I plan to release a new post every 2 weeks, giving you time to get to know the concepts and see how they apply to your life. Time is a huge factor in changing habits, so we’ve got that on our side. 

To replace those insidious critical thoughts with kind and supportive ones, a clear and simple framework is essential. In this first post, I’ll share a brief overview of the Growth Process, clarify our most common self-defeating habits (Saboteurs) and include an easy exercise to help you intercept your Saboteurs and start rewiring your brain. Sequential posts will build upon the first, focusing on how to help you build new habits, access different facets of your brain, and improve your ability to navigate adversity while creating a life aligned with your potential. Below is an overview of the next 4 posts:

The Growth Process:

1: Learn to Identify Self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors (Saboteurs) Saboteurs are negative response patterns that hold us back. The primary saboteur is The Judge. The nine other saboteurs are the Avoider, Controller, Hyper-Achiever, Hyper-Rational, Hyper-Vigilant, Pleaser, Restless, Stickler, and Victim. You’ll find a short description of each Saboteur below.

2: Utilize Presence Practices to Weaken Saboteurs Activate resourceful regions of your brain by engaging simple 10 second presence practices to help you access new neural pathways to navigate challenges from a place of capacity rather than stress or deficit.

3: Energize your Inner Sage Establish healthy mental habits to make better decisions and handle stress more easily. Your Inner Wisdom or Sage is comprised by your ability to: Empathize, Explore, Innovate, Navigate, and Activate.

4: Grow New Neural Pathways & Rewire your Brain Practicing new habits will build new neural pathways and networks, which supports lasting change. Note: Insights or “Aha” moments comprise maybe 20% of the power behind change. It’s the daily practices and building of new habits that solidify transformation in the longterm.

What Fires Together, Wires Together

By shifting cognition from the habitual Saboteur regions of the brain to the regions of the Sage, you’ll develop the mental fitness and neural pathways that lead to greater performance, confidence, resilience, and overall well-being. First things first: let’s understand what the saboteurs are and then identify the most common ones. 

Saboteurs: The Many Faces of Negative Programming

Saboteurs “are a set of automatic and perpetual mind patterns, each with their own voice, beliefs, and assumptions that work against your best interest.” Saboteurs are universal and habitually developed to fulfill our needs for survival. As we reach adulthood, the Saboteurs are not necessary for survival but are still harbored in the limbic part of the brain. The problem with the Saboteurs is that once formed, they are automated - and for many of us, unfortunately, they become a fixture or unconscious constant. "The Judge," for example, is our predisposition to exaggerate the negative and assume the worst. The Judge is actually helpful for survival, because there is a modicum of self-protection involved, but . . . The habitual pattern of finding fault with our self, others, and circumstances ends up causing much of our disappointment, anger, regret, guilt, shame, and anxiety. While the Judge might be an unconscious attempt to protect ourselves, it is really keeping us in F.E.A.R. and out of Resource. A few acronyms for F.E.A.R.: “False Evidence Appearing Real,” “Forgetting Every Available Resource,” “F* Everything and Run.” You get the picture.

What’s more, The Judge typically activates at least one of the Accomplice Saboteurs. The particular accomplices that are activated vary by individual and are determined by our Essential Needs or Motivation and our innate Style of handling change and adversity. This is where my understanding of the Program gets a little left=brainy and formulaic, so I’m relying more on the Positive Intelligence literature here: 

There are three primary motivations that underpin our emotional survival needs:

1. Independence – a need for boundaries with others and being independent from them.

2. Acceptance – a need to maintain a positive social image and to be accepted by others.

3. Security – an intrinsic survival instinct to “control life’s anxieties and push away or minimize them.”

There are also three different response styles that satisfy our primary motivational needs:

1. Assert – the most active, commanding style in which we take action to fulfill our needs.

2. Earn – the less demanding style in which we work hard to meet motivational needs.

3. Avoid – the style that withdraws “from activities, thoughts, feelings, or other people” to fulfill motivational needs.

For the next few weeks, I’d love for you to check in throughout the day to assess your thought patterns - in a curious, nonjudgmental way. If you notice yourself spiraling into worst case scenario, which of the Saboteurs might be active? With a little practice, you might notice some Saboteurs are more prevalent than others. For me, The Judge is a heavy hitter who quickly activates the Pleaser and Stickler (Perfectionist). The Avoider, who I like to call “The Procrastinator,” is a close third. 

As much as you can, approach this invitation with a light heart. We’ve judged ourselves harshly for most of our lives, no need to criticize ourselves for criticizing ourselves . . . know what I mean? 

In fact, every time you catch yourself in a negative thought pattern, take 10 seconds to celebrate your awareness*. You read that correctly. Give yourself a smile, a hug, bounce up and down, exclaim "hurray!" Whatever will lift you into a good feeling. Celebrating our wins not only stops a harmful thought in its tracks, it also starts rewiring the brain, empowering us with choice. When we start choosing our thoughts, our life shifts dramatically. *If you start to celebrate an awareness success, the Judge might chime in with "this is stupid," or "I look silly." Whatever. That's the nature of The Judge. CELEBRATE. You are subverting deep programming and giving your "wild heart" a chance at joy!

Without further ado:

• The Judge - the main Saboteur that gets in most peoples’ way: The Judge constantly analyzes and criticizes the self and others. The Judge fixates on mistakes, negative outcomes, and worse case scenarios.

  
  

• The Avoider: Procrastinates and avoids challenges, often focusing on the negative aspects of situations rather than taking action.

  
  

• The Controller: seeks to control situations and people, often becoming rigid and inflexible when things don't go their way.

  
  

• Hyper-Achiever: constantly strives for achievement and success, often neglecting personal well-being and relationships in the process.

  
  

• Hyper-Rational: relies heavily on logic and reason, often overlooking emotions and intuition, and can become detached from their feelings.

  
  

• Hyper-Vigilant: constantly on edge, anticipating danger and potential problems, leading to anxiety and worry.

  
  

• The Pleaser: prioritizes others' needs and opinions over their own, often leading to feelings of resentment and self-neglect.

  
  

• Restlessness: constantly seeking external stimulation and excitement, often feeling bored and restless when things aren't moving quickly enough.

  
  

• The Stickler (Perfectionist): fixated on perfection and order, often becoming overly critical and demanding of themselves and others.

• The Victim: feels powerless and blames external factors for their problems, often seeing themselves as helpless and unable to change their circumstances.

  
  

OK! I'd love to hear what you think and how this invitation into awareness goes for you. Full disclosure: I've been in the field of intentional healing and growth for over 25 years - I was amazed by how often I slipped into a negative frame of mind and how relentless some Saboteurs can be. If you have any questions or if you’d like to explore this more deeply together, please don’t hesitate to reach out: britta@intuitivehealthhealing.com and 917.519.2432.

If you think someone you know would benefit from these ideas, please forward along! 

For more information about Positive Intelligence: https://www.positiveintelligence.com/